I’ve been reading LOTS of property descriptions. Aside from the many typos and CAPS, here are a few gems I see over and over and what they REALLY mean to a buyer.
Original Owner = dated décor
Well (or impeccably) appointed = a woman picked out the finishes
Custom = what someone else wanted
# Years Young = denial, i.e. a perpetually 29 year old woman
Stately = stuffy
Pristine condition = they have a good housecleaning service
Updated = painted within the last 3 years and took down that ugly border
Upgraded = splurged for the stainless and/or granite
Wow! = really?
Motivated Sellers = Go ahead and low ball us – we won’t be offended
Dramatic = Stunning = Spectacular = Fabulous = Majestic = Beautiful = Dramatic {oops, caught in an adjective loop, can’t get out!}
Do you agree with any of them? What am I missing?
Hello! I’m Susan, Owner and Creative Director for Rooms That Work LLC, a practical interior design solution for Northern New Jersey. 
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Cozy or charming = small;
mature landscaping = probably needs to be cut back
Great ones Enza…thanks!