Real Estate Listings: Glossary of Terms

I’ve been reading LOTS of property descriptions. Aside from the many typos and CAPS, here are a few gems I see over and over and what they REALLY mean to a buyer.

Original Owner = dated décor

Well (or impeccably) appointed = a woman picked out the finishes

Custom = what someone else wanted

# Years Young = denial, i.e. a perpetually 29 year old woman

Stately = stuffy

Pristine condition = they have a good housecleaning service

Updated = painted within the last 3 years and took down that ugly border

Upgraded = splurged for the stainless and/or granite

Wow! = really?

Motivated Sellers = Go ahead and low ball us – we won’t be offended

Dramatic = Stunning = Spectacular = Fabulous = Majestic = Beautiful = Dramatic {oops, caught in an adjective loop, can’t get out!}

Do you agree with any of them? What am I missing?



  1. Cozy or charming = small;
    mature landscaping = probably needs to be cut back

  2. Great ones Enza…thanks!